Don’t Pee Off the Tax Man!

pee all over HMRC

A Little Bit Of Light Humour

HMRC decides to have a look at Grandpas accounts, and summons him to the Tax office. The tax inspector was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his accountant.
The tax inspector said, ‘ Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I’m not sure HMRC finds that believable. I’m a great gambler, and I can prove it,’ says Grandpa. ‘ How about a demonstration?’ The tax inspector thinks for a moment and said, ‘ Okay. Go ahead.’Grandpa says, I’ll bet you a£1000 that I can bite my own eye.’ The tax inspector thinks a moment and says, It’s a bet.’ Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The tax inspector’s jaw drops. Grandpa says, ‘ Now, I’ll bet you £2000 that I can bite my other eye.’ Now the tax inspector can tell Grandpa isn’t blind, so he takes the bet. Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye. The stunned tax inspector now realises he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa’s accountant as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

‘Want to go double or nothing?’ Grandpa asks I’ll bet you £6000 that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.’ The tax inspector, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there’s no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again. Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can’t make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much pee’s all over the tax inspector’s desk. The tax inspector leaps with joy, realising that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win. But Grandpa’s accountant moans and puts his head in his hands.’ Are you okay?’ the tax inspector asks. ‘Not really,’ says the accountant. ‘ This morning, when Grandpa told me he’d been summoned for to the tax office, he bet me £25000 that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you’d be happy about it!’



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